“Here's your all-access pass. You can walk around everywhere, backstage, anywhere you want, if you just do it with authority.Get latest fashion celebrity dresses 2012 and unique custom made celebrity style dresses. If you look meek, they will stop you.”

This is how I knew it would feel. I didn't belong at a fashion show. But, as some of us know, last week was Fashion Week in New York, and my friend said he could get me in. So there I was, as usual in my life, unnecessarily nervous.

I followed him down Nassau Street, watching him inhale the rest of his cigarette and flick the finished product down at the feet of people waiting to get in the side entrance marked as backstage. I was following my “friend in the industry.” My friend in the industry informed me that it's a common joke, both having and saying you have a friend in the industry. And mine was now taking me down a dirty alley, away from everyone else, sidestepping stagnant puddles (I was wearing my nice shoes!), past a line of full Dumpsters, then over some plywood, and then,Our priority is to offer excellent services and unbeatable discount price A-Line Wedding Dresses to our customers. yep, right into the goddam heart of it. The backstage beating heart of fashion: wall-to-wall models, in a room brightly lit like a convenience store, mirrors and headsets and clipboards and shoes and clothing racks and makeup stands and more models ... and then just me, left alone, because my friend in the industry couldn't have his enemies in the industry knowing that he brought a friend who was not in the industry.

I've worked service my whole life. If I'd ever found myself here on my own terms, it'd be servicing, circling the front area with the filled champagne flutes, which I assumed someone was out front doing.

I pushed myself against a big concrete support beam that had been wrapped in heavy brown paper and took a breath.

“Anyone who doesn't need to be back here, seriously needs to NOT BE BACK HERE.”

She wasn't looking at me when she yelled that, but me was definitely looking at me. Going with everyone's first line of defense, I brought out my phone and then glared at my wristwatch like I wished the world would hurry the fuck up.

I glanced up with that manufactured disgust, searching for the most stressed-out person in the room. Everyone holding a clipboard was stressed out. People with headsets were stressed out. The models were ...Find Junior Bridesmaid Dresses gowns in great styles and hot colors. smiling. The professional photographers were stressed out, but it seemed to be a general discomfort, a general stress of discontentment. Maybe those cameras are really heavy.

“REHEARSAL in 10. LADIES, put your SHOES ON.”

My boy in the industry sent me a text, which I saw immediately as I was staring at my phone for no reason. The text suggested I watch the rehearsal out front, flee from the backstage area.

The venue was already dimmed into darkness, and the techno started simply, a pulsing, moaning note, like a whale, a heavy-breathing whale, and I pushed myself into the safety of an archway because the models were coming. I could feel them coming, but I didn't know from where. They could come right at me, and I wouldn't be surprised. They could run me down, and I would stare at them terrified and let them run me down, and I wouldn't be anything but terrified.

To see the rehearsal, now this was exclusive. They were running the spring line, and people with actual invitations weren't allowed in yet. The models emerged from where I least expected, and I took note of the fashion:

Amazingly accessible. Slightly baggy green khakis hanging off thin model hips, short jean jackets covering comfortable blouses. Even a loose, shoulder-revealing cotton shirt with a spray-painted happy face in red and blue, the eyes all crooked.A traditional Wedding Dress Shops specialising in providing an exclusively personal and professional service for brides. I thought they looked wonderful.

The two men behind Proenza Schouler, Jack McCollough and Lazaro Hernandez, graduated from Parsons in 2002, and already they'd opened a store on Madison Avenue. Even to me it seemed they were going to be huge. In fact, they were already huge. And the ladies looked fantastic.

But (and some of you might have already guessed this) the models weren't dressed in Proenza Schouler yet. The author of this article is a moron.

I needed a drink, but one quick glance around the dark venue told me there wasn't a bar. Or beverages of any sort. And it was super dusty in here. Really dusty.